If you have any questions of criticisms of the way I play Alfred Pennyworth, leave 'em here. Either with your name or anon if you'd rather.

A very merry Christmas to everyone. I've got quite a good roast going here, I hope to see all our friends for dinner.


( OOC: Presents under the cut )

That was... interesting. Rather reminded me of the time Gotham was a no man's land, although I think that was worse.

Have we confirmed all infected people have been restored? No zombies hiding in dark corners?

Private to DC Heroes//unhackable

And more to the point, are you alright Miss Kent?

Blast. Of all the things, an actual zombie infestation was not something I had expected.

Fortunately, I always stock up well for emergencies, and this certainly counts as one.

Is everyone alright? In need of a safe haven? Assuming it's alright with you, Master Bruce.

Private to DC heroes except Kara and Clark//unhackable

The Joker emerges and we have a plague of the undead. Not precisely the best timing.

I believe Miss Kent is suffering from the disease. I kept Mr. Kent out because I do not wish to alarm him, but what shall we do? There's still the Kryptonite in the wall safe.

...

That is rather hideous.

Congratulations are in order to the new Warden. Hardly the thing to see on his victory day.

I haven't done this in decades.

What would I want? I'm at the age where you don't really want that much. Perhaps a new dutch oven. Some fine Ceylon leaves.

Some respite for his weary mind.
A world without him
A world where children don't need to fight the darkness

Perhaps a new sweater, this one is beginning to wear at the elbows.


Private to Bruce//unhackable

Have you settled sir? I have a suggestion, if you're amenable.

These are hardly appropriate questions.

Are these newcomers permanent guests?

_{[[OOC: Ask away, just no questions that would reveal his job as Batman's butler, per the request of Batman-mun]]}

The most irritating part of all is the fact that tea tins are there, in the cupboard. The electrical kettle is operative and plugged in. The cups are clean, there is sugar in the pantry and milk in the icebox.


But I simply cannot make or drink it. I have never been taunted by tea before. I have been taunted by psychopaths, Soviet agents, and at one point an alien god.

But never by tea.

The time I almost died? A few too many to name. I remember most clearly the FIRST time I almost died during the Cold War, when I was sent straight into the heart of enemy territory and had to convince them I was one of them with a revolver held up against my temple.

Although in retrospect, I was likely in less danger than I have been in later years.

At any rate, I'm in need of purchasing a new set of clothes. Is there a tailor available?

Private to Tony Stark//unhackable

My apologies, sir, but I must tender my resignation. My former employer, Bruce Wayne, has arrived in the City and my loyalty will always be to him above all else.

Before I leave, however, I should add that my research has lead me to discover that you might wish to talk to one Harry Dresden about magical protection, if only as an expert advisor.

Private to Bruce//unhackable

Have you managed to take it in better, Master Bruce? I've taken the liberty of looking for a tailor so you can do better than the one suit.

One thing I did neglect to mention, though, was that you might find a few personages who know your identity as Batman. You're a rather inspiring figure, one might say.

There we go. A nice set of Jack O' Lanterns. Plenty of pumpkins still left over for any who would want some.

It puts me in the mind of the supernatural and magic. Where I'm from, magic exists, but is largely unknown and misunderstood. And as Arthur C. Clarke said, sometimes technology is so advanced it's indistinguishable from magic. I wonder how differently it works for other places.

Private to Raven//unhackable

Might I speak with you about something for a moment?

With Halloween in the air, perhaps I should investigate pumpkins. I always enjoyed setting up Jack O'Lanterns at Wayne Manor.


And of course, the roasted pumpkin seeds are an added treat. Although I understand this place has a reputation for horror around October. The colesium was... bloodthirsty, but it doesn't sound like the thing to inspire such abject terror.

Perhaps I should prepare more than just pumpkins...

We appear to have traveled back to Ancient Rome. How wonderfully barbaric.

Private to Clark Kent//viewable to DC Heroes//unhackable


Mr. Kent, my name is Alfred Pennyworth. Could I have a moment of your time?

Mr. Stark, our meeting was most informative, I shall fax over a list of required materials immediately.

Fortunately for me, I noticed the monologuing that plagued the city the other day and was able to throw my communicator in a drawer. As with any butler, I have secrets I simply cannot have out.

Private to DC Heroes//unhackable

Forgive me for being something of a busy body, but how is everyone? I haven't heard from some of you in a while.

I be unable to speak the Queen's Good English tonight, though I be looking on the network and seein' it be some form o' curse. Even me fingers refuse to do type nothin' but this pirate's brogue.


This be most embarrrrrrrrressing. Me only savin' grace be that I be not acting or dressin' like a pirate. Mastaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrr Wayne would like find this most amusin'.

There appears to be a cloud following me around. This is not usual, so I must assume that it is a curse.

I see Warden elections have come around again. I wonder what James Gordon would have made of this place. Possibly the most decorated and celebrated law enforcement in Gotham's history. If I may be permitted a little hyperbole, in almost our entire world. Cities from all over consulted with him, and if there was someone more knowledgeable in superhuman law enforcement, I certainly could not name him.

And he made all that out of the most corrupt police force in all of America.

At anyrate, I'm wool gather and I appear to be out of tea. Might anyone suggest a specialty shop? I'm looking for something more... exotic.

I've noted on the network people talking about "terrorism". The recent attacks do have some terrorist elements to it but...

I'm not certain it's precisely terrorism. Terrorism, in the Queen's English, is about frightening people to take a certain act. Political or financial or... what have you.

I've watched the Joker appear and grow in Gotham City. He's destroyed more lives than I care to even think about, helped make poor Harvey Dent into what he is. If he's involved, a desire to make people act a certain way isn't exactly what he's after.


Some men... and by men, I mean women, angels, vampires, aliens, what have you. Some men aren't after anything logical like power or money or companionship or even a cause.

These... persons can't be bullied, bought, reasoned, or negotiated with.

Some men just want to watch the world burn.

If the Joker is indeed involved, if these... unknown people are just so.

I fear for the entire City.

I'm afraid Miss Stephanie has been hospitalized. Everyone be careful. It's most likely a curse but all those people laughing...

It seems too familiar.

I recall several important elections in my lifetime. The two most personally important both took place in Gotham City.

Harvey Dent was elected with a promise to clean up the streets. He was a dedicated attorney. He wasn't afraid of the corrupt, the mobs, and the psychopaths.

Perhaps he should have been, but what happened to him isn't as important as what he did accomplish.

He helped make Gotham safe again. He helped put hope back on the streets.

I'm afraid I don't know the candidates well enough to make any sound judgement on the matter.

But I believe you should vote for whoever puts hope on the streets.

I believed... no, I still believe in Harvey Dent.

_{[[OOC: Shh, no one notice that most of my speeches are lifted quotes from the Dark Knight trailers. Shhhhhhhh!]]}

I have decided to move to a new building. I'm afraid it was rather quiet without Master Bruce around.

If you have not heard, I'm afraid I must inform all of his friends that he has left the City. I'm certain he's much better for it. Hopefully, he can manage without me.

Private to Teen Titans//unhackable

I have moved into the apartment next to you. If no one objects, I can come to clean your apartment tomorrow. Master Dick, I'm certain you'll tell me it's not necessary, but it's my... meditation, I suppose the word would be. Do you have any requests?

I'm certainly glad this curse didn't come on me when I was younger. I daresay it would be quite affecting.


Filtered to the DC superheroes//unhackable

I'm afraid I have ill news. Batman has left the City. I confirmed this at the Hall of the Missing myself.

He's always been one for disappearances, and I know that our world will be much better for him to return. But it does come at a very poor time for us.

After much thought, I have decided to come out and identify myself to those who do not already know me. My name is Alfred Pennyworth, and you could think of me as a... Batman's assistant. I have helped superheroes for quite some time, and I offer my services to you.

Master Robin... I think this may leave you as our leader, by default.